Today I feel like I’m in a fog. A fog of stuff hanging over me.
Nagging back pain that doesn’t seem to get better
an unresolved family relationship
house repairs that need attention
work load beginning to pile up
And I know others who live daily
with physical pain, with a terminal illness, with disorders and deficiencies
who have yet to see a family member enter the Kingdom of God
or dreams fulfilled
or children turn back
I feel small and unable. I want to fix it quickly and resolve it. I want to make it go away, pretend it isn’t there. But I can’t do that. Life isn’t that easy.
Do I put my life on hold while I give full energy to making this better? What if it never gets better? What if all my attempts to make it right are not enough? Does life end?
My heart feels like Psalm 42:5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?
I must learn to live “in the midst” – in the midst of pain, brokenness and the “to do” list.
The nagging stuff may never fully go away, but it does not need to control me
It does not need to dictate my actions and emotions
It does not need to rob me of my joy and peace because
All these troubles and nagging worries teach me to thirst for my God (Psalm 42:1-2). When I hear the taunt of others that my God is not the right God and that I don’t have my beliefs right (v 3, 10),
I pour out my soul (v 4)
I tell Him exactly how I feel
I shed tears
I write down my cares
I put my hope in Him, my Savior and My God (v 5).
the one who gives me an eternal future with an inheritance
the one whose power raised Christ from the dead
the one who listens and answers my prayers
I praise Him (v 5). I choose to be grateful
for my life
for my home
for the good things which are too numerous to count
for the privilege of serving Him
for loved ones
for the precious memories of the past
And I receive the unfailing love that He pours on me (v 8)
I am his treasured possession
I am his beautiful masterpiece
I am chosen and adopted as his child
and I sing the songs He gives me
and pray to Him. (v 8)
Precious Father, teach me to live in the midst of nagging stuff that I cannot make go away. Show me how to not let it control me or rob me of my joy and peace, because you are my Savior and My God, my hope.