Why did you write Grit to Stay Grace to Go: Staying Well in Cross-Cultural Ministry?

Sue: As a cross-cultural worker who was tempted to leave too soon, I wanted to develop a resource that would help people stay even when life and ministry feel overwhelming.

Eva: As a member care provider, I kept hearing stories of loss due to teammates leaving. Other authors have addressed the goer, but few have concentrated on helping those who remain process this loss and grow through it while saying goodbye. (See also Why We Wrote Grit to Stay Grace to Go)

What problems are you trying to address?

Sue: Cross-cultural ministry is hard. Really hard. But often we are under-prepared for how difficult it is. So, some people leave too soon. In fact, 47% of workers leave the field within the first five years. But it isn’t just hard in that first term. Mid-term and even end of career workers have their own set of challenges. We want to help equip people to stay and not leave prematurely. 

Eva: While global workers must develop grit to stay well, their resolve to stay is especially tested when everyone else seems to be leaving. Global workers need to develop grace for others when they go or when it’s their time to go. And making an informed choice about whether to go or stay confounds many.

What’s the big idea behind the book?

Sue: Don’t leave too soon. Don’t stay too long. Decide wisely which to do. To stay well, we need to recognize lies we are tempted to believe and cling to truth when circumstances are intense. We also need to learn to say good-bye well to those who leave. But we don’t want to stay just to stay. Sometimes God does leads us or our teammates to leave the field. When making that decision to stay or leave, we don’t want to run from a place, a hardship or team conflict, but to run toward what God is calling us to and where he wants us to be next.

Eva: It takes grit to stay on the field because global workers face many challenges, especially when others go. But it also takes grace to let others go or to make the choice to leave ourselves. We don’t want workers to leave too soon but also not to stay too long.

What do you hope readers will take away from your book?

Sue: We hope this workbook encourages people to stay longer than they might. But if they stay, to stay well. Staying isn’t always good and leaving isn’t always bad. Deciding which is rough and we pray that this workbook will help each of us be more thoughtful and intentional in the process of deciding what to do. Sometimes we choose to leave the field in the heat of conflict, when we are burned out, or in isolation after a stressful season. We can’t make the decision-making process easy, but this book can assist those looking for guidance.

Eva: We hope readers will take away a renewed commitment to stay, to listen to truth and not lies about how difficult cross-cultural ministry is, especially when others around you are leaving. We hope they will find help to make intentional, and not reactive, decisions to leave when the time is right. We hope goers and stayers will understand each other better.

What is something in your book that might surprise people?  

Sue: Staying, developing grit, is hard; staying well is even harder! But we can’t stay well without learning about good-byes. So, it also turned out to be a book about going. Because going is also hard. Grit to stay Grace to Go helps stayers learn to say goodbye well to those who go. It also helps those considering whether to go, to do so in a healthy way. After all, it doesn’t just take grit to stay, it also takes grit to go—and grace is needed whatever we decide.

Eva: Readers may be surprised how funny Sue is! How much they’ll relate to the examples and stories in the book. That we try to move them, in a gentle way, to allow the challenges of staying to grow and mature them. That it’s a workbook with space for refection and extra resources for further study.

Why should people read your book?

Sue: It is an effective preparation tool to help newcomers know more about the struggles and how our reaction to those struggles can be influenced by faulty thinking. For those with experience in ministry and in the fray, it is a resource for hanging in there when it would seem easier to quit and when others are leaving us to carry on. The book normalizes the intensity of ministry and provides healthy ways to deal with grieving lots of goodbyes. And for those who are in the throes of determining whether to go or stay, it will be a valuable guide for the decision-making process.

Eva: I regularly talk to global workers who wonder if they can stick it out or if it’s time to go. They mourn the loss of teammates who leave. They truly struggle with all the challenges of cross-cultural living. This book will help them reflect, look at scripture, pray, and thoughtfully develop grit and grace to stay or to go. Global workers who struggle with the challenges of cross-cultural living, those who have lost countless teammates and feel numb, those considering leaving, and pastors and missions leaders who send them should read this book.

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Grit to Stay Grace to Go is a tool to help cross cultural workers develop grit—to stay longer. And it’s also a guide to help those who stay know how to respond well to those who leave. There are a lot of solutions and guidance in the first two sections. However, the last part of the book is for those who wrestle with the decision to go or stay. Readers may be looking for answers in this section, too. We don’t have any! What we do have are thought provoking questions and resources to help them to decide prayerfully, intentionally, and wisely. We pray that God will help global workers stay well, say goodbye well, and to know when and how to leave well.