One of my favorite movies is Princess Bride partly because I love fairy tales but also because it was the first movie I saw in the theatre with my now husband. Any who also love this quirky movie know that it attempts to humorously illustrate “twoo wuv” (true love).

However, the apostle John is the real expert on true love. He writes about it more than any other author in the Bible, with around 46 uses of the word in his short letter of 1 John¹. He alone records Jesus’s new commandment to love one another in a radical way—like Jesus loves us (John 13:34–35). And his most notable love passage is 1 John 4:7–21 which mentions some form of agape (Greek for love) 27 times².

John starts by describing WHAT agape love is. Agape originates with God (4:7) for God himself IS love (4:8). He loved us first (4:19) and demonstrated love:

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

1 John 4:9–10

Jen Wilkin, in her Bible study, ABIDE, quotes Wuest’s definition of agape. It is “an intelligent, purposeful attitude of esteem and devotion; a selfless, purposeful, outgoing attitude that desires to do good to the one loved.”³ Agape is an intentional, sacrificial choice, not based on feelings, to give without expecting anything in return. It’s nothing like the romantic, idealistic, unrealistic love of Buttercup and Wesley in Princess Bride.

Since God loves us, we love—not hate⁴—others (19–21), especially our fellow Christians⁵. More than once, John tells us succinctly and bluntly:

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another…Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

1 John 4:11, 21 (also 3:11, 23; 5:1)

John goes on to reinforce this concept by telling us exactly WHY we should love others. God is seen (manifested) when we love others (4:12). In fact, loving others demonstrates we know God and belong to him (4:7) and he lives in us (4:12). In loving others, we imitate God (4:9) and then God is made visible (4:12). Love removes any fear of punishment from God (4:18). Simply put, we love others because we love God (4:20–21).

In the previous chapter, John explains HOW to love others. We follow Jesus’s example by laying down our lives for them (3:16). We help out those in need with gifts of material possessions (3:17). And we love with our sincere actions and not merely our words (3:18).

Understanding and truly knowing that God loves me has been a vital part of my spiritual journey and therefore I speak and write about this topic often. However, my study of Matthew and now John has taught me that I cannot stop there. Being loved by God and loving him in return is not enough. If I truly love God, I will love his children. You might even say that I only truly love God when I am loving others.

With this in mind, I am choosing to express love to some colleagues that I would not opt to hang around. I begin by praying for God to bless them, to provide for them, to give them peace. I ask him to give me a desire to do good to them. Then I follow his prompting to act in a kind way toward them.

If you are struggling to love a fellow Christian, start by getting to know our loving God and how he loves you. When you are secure in and know his love, you can then offer that love to others without expectation or unspoken attached strings. This display of true love within the family of God can’t help but attract others.

How are you intentionally doing good to others, even those you are inclined to hate?

PRAYER

Lord God, I am trying to grasp your lavish love for me. I recognize that I am only able to love others with true agape love because you first loved me and saved me. Help me to learn to love others in the same way that Jesus loves me.

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1. https://www.lwch.org/read/2019/10/15/love-by-the-numbers-in-1-john-47-21 ↩︎
2. https://www.lwch.org/read/2019/10/15/love-by-the-numbers-in-1-john-47-21 ↩︎
3. Kenneth Wuest, Kenneth Wuest’s Word Studies in the Greek New Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1975), Vol. III Bypaths, 111–113. ↩︎
4. Conversely, Wilkin defines hate as “an intelligent, purposeful attitude of disrespect and disregard; a self-centered, purposeful, inward attitude that desires to do harm to the one hated.” ↩︎
5. Scripture also tells us to love our neighbors (Lk 10:25-37), our enemies (Mt 5:44), and the immigrant and refugee (Lev 19:34). ↩︎

• Love comes from God (4:7)
• God is love (4:8)
• God loved us first (4:19)
• God showed his love by sending Jesus as an atoning sacrifice so we can life (4:9–10)
• There is no fear in love. Love drives out fear (4:18)
• Since God loved us, we love (not hate) others (4:11, 19–21)
  • God is seen (manifested) when we love others (4:12)
  • Loving others demonstrates we know God (4:7) and he lives in us (4:12)
  • When we love others, we imitate God (4:9)
  • Love drives out any fear of punishment (4:18)
  • We love others because we love God (4:20–21)