I have a beautiful Italian Fontanini nativity set. Last year when I set it up, I realized I didn’t know which figure was Joseph. In fact, I was afraid I didn’t have Joseph at all. So I googled and discovered that one of the figures that looked like a shepherd was in fact Fontanini’s Joseph figurine. Once again, I was reminded how often Joseph is sidelined in the story of Christ’s birth.

We cannot look at Mary without giving Joseph the applause he deserves. Joseph was a righteous man. He chose to act honorably despite the norms of his shame-based culture. While he knew the child Mary was carrying was not his own, he did not want her to be disgraced publicly (Matthew 1:19). Joseph was also an obedient man. When he had the confirmation from God that Mary’s story was true, he was all in, totally on board (Matthew 1:20).

Mary and Joseph illustrate what one of my favorite authors, Carolyn Custis James, has coined the “Blessed Alliance—God’s design from creation that men and women join forces in serving him together” (The Gospel of Ruth).

He shuts down his carpenter shop, gets behind his wife’s calling, and adapts himself to his wife and God’s calling on her life. His whole life will be committed to making sure she succeeds in carrying out the mission God has entrusted to her.

James, Half the Church

Like Mary, Joseph was favored, blessed and pierced! He too, paid a high price to follow God’s calling.

These are costly decisions for Joseph for they diminish his reputation in the community, turn his life upside down, and run his private agenda through a shredder. But he is every bit as resolute as Mary when she subordinated her public reputation to the private call of God. 

Carolyn Custis James, Malestrom

What an amazing partner and ally Joseph was to Mary. He was indispensable in helping her fulfill the calling. But somewhere along the way (scholars believe it was before Jesus began his public ministry), Joseph died. Mary is now a widow! Pierced!

In Mary’s culture, the oldest son would bear the responsibility of taking care of a widowed mother. However Jesus was wandering around the countryside with no income. Since scholars believe Mary moved to Capernaum with Jesus when he began his public ministry, perhaps Mary was included in the financial provision that came from the women disciples (Luke 8:1-3), perhaps Mary’s other children took up the mantel—we do not know. But we do know that Jesus made sure that Mary was taken care of after his death (John 19:25-27). All things considered, Mary must have acutely felt the loss of her biggest supporter, Joseph.

Seventeen months ago, one of my best friends, Lori, died after a ten year battle with cancer. Her husband, Ben became a widower. How deeply pierced his soul has been. He has lost the other half of his alliance, his counterpart. I have witnessed what a huge adjustment it is for him to navigate life now without a partner by his side, especially when that partner was as deeply committed to fulfilling God’s calling as he is.

Scripture doesn’t tell us how Mary coped. But I believe her faith and her ability to ponder things in her heart helped her through this. She kept her focus at all times on her calling and got personally involved in Jesus’s mission, even encouraging him to begin his public ministry (John 2:1-5).

May we too, whether we have an earthly spouse or not, stay focused building God’s kingdom and may we form many Blessed Alliances with our brothers and/or sisters.

How have you experienced the Blessed Alliance?

Have you ever lost a dear partner? How is Jesus providing for you?

How can you get involved in Jesus’ mission?

PRAYER

Lord God, our provider, thank you for the beautiful example of Joseph who adapted his life to ensure that Mary was able to fulfill the calling you gave her. Give us more men like Joseph. And when we are separated from precious partners, provide and keep us committed to seeing your kingdom come.

Next in series: Blessed Alliance

For an edited version of this, please purchase Favored Blessed Pierced: A Fresh Look at Mary of Nazareth, available on Amazon.